this is if only [dot] org
Archives
- 2023-08-02: the wait
- 2023-07-30: adjusted
- 2023-07-03: the nowhere of sleep
- 2023-06-21: longest
- 2023-06-20: facets of continuing to exist (i)
- 2023-06-14: in my place
- 2023-06-03: the between
- 2023-05-22: route planning
- 2023-05-18: forget you not
- 2023-05-13: scented
- 2023-05-11: the deep past is a dangerous country
- 2023-05-08: spiralling
- 2023-05-04: gone away
- 2023-05-04: obligations
- 2023-05-03: old frontiers
- 2023-05-01: may mourning
- 2023-04-19: two weeks after
- 2023-04-04: greener pastures / new grass
- 2023-03-28: look, pilgrim
- 2023-03-27: old confetti
- 2023-03-26: no farewell souvenirs
- 2023-03-25: choosing
- 2023-03-24: trophies
- 2023-03-22: any old gram
- 2023-03-18: fog lifts
- 2023-03-17: hope in a bottle
- 2023-03-12: don't look, don't touch
- 2023-03-10: hard awakening
- 2023-03-09: uncluttering
- 2023-03-07: irish goodbye
- 2023-03-05: spring doesn't lie, though it makes a liar out of me
- 2023-03-03: scarecrow of the moors, first draft
- 2023-02-25: wiseblooded
- 2023-02-24: lententiding
- 2023-02-20: I do not fear the time
- 2023-02-19: unbinding
- 2023-02-18: a taste of before
- 2023-02-17: anechoic
- 2023-02-14: the break after broken
- 2023-02-12: this broken perfection
- 2023-02-11: right over the edge of the earth
- 2023-02-09: deadlining
- 2023-02-07: everything becomes symbolic
- 2023-02-06: sins of omission
- 2023-01-23: within the without
- 2023-01-22: cinematography
- 2023-01-21: not unafraid
- 2023-01-20: skindeep
- 2023-01-18: wants for wishes
- 2023-01-17: resolving (4)
- 2023-01-15: interdit, 1997
- 2023-01-13: anti-persephone
- 2023-01-12: resolving (3)
- 2023-01-11: clear blue sky
- 2023-01-10: resolving (2)
- 2023-01-09: bonheur
- 2023-01-04: possessed by the gods
- 2023-01-03: resolving (1)
- 2023-01-01: begin
- 2022-12-31: begone
- 2022-12-28: oft a flood
- 2022-12-24: incommunicaded
- 2022-12-22: life's fragile
- 2022-12-09: how to write a suicide note
- 2022-12-08: explaining, unexplaining
- 2022-12-07: that last advent
- 2022-12-06: doing, undoing
- 2022-12-04: many befores ago
- 2022-12-02: so cold
- 2022-11-30: if he sleeps
- 2022-11-29: grace
- 2022-11-28: exothermic
- 2022-11-17: ancient wisdom
- 2022-11-15: votive
- 2022-11-08: after the fall
- 2022-11-07: unchoosing
- 2022-11-06: implosion
- 2022-11-04: the wanting
- 2022-11-03: alternate days
- 2022-11-01: boxed in
- 2022-10-30: intending
- 2022-10-28: calling out
- 2022-10-27: unfuturing
- 2022-10-26: unwishing, though
- 2022-10-25: A.
- 2022-10-23: blanked out
- 2022-10-22: words unspoken, messages unsent
- 2022-10-21: midnighting
- 2022-10-20: forking paths
- 2022-10-19: 174.21.30.176
- 2022-10-18: falling
- 2022-10-17: unthinging
- 2022-10-16: hungry for control
- 2022-10-15: unquestioning
- 2022-10-14: lost contacts
- 2022-10-13: under garage door
- 2022-10-12: frozen in time
- 2022-10-11: the butterflies are dying now
- 2022-10-10: wmhd
- 2022-10-09: history
- 2022-10-08: lagwafis
- 2022-10-06: the beginning of the year's end
- 2022-10-03: the perpetual now
- 2022-10-02: roadkill autumn
- 2022-09-17: anattā
- 2022-08-30: floating upon the surface for the birds
- 2022-08-24: lasts
- 2022-08-04: draw a card
- 2022-07-31: painful
- 2022-07-13: photons
- 2022-07-05: undosing
- 2022-06-30: wordsmith
- 2022-06-16: willing
- 2022-06-09: richness
- 2022-05-31: varieties of nothing
- 2022-05-20: still
- 2022-05-18: without
- 2022-05-16: hospice
- 2022-05-13: binding
- 2022-05-10: let's be other people
- 2022-05-07: unlit
- 2022-05-06: five years
- 2022-05-05: no forwarding address
- 2022-05-03: first days in may
- 2022-05-01: duty of care
- 2022-04-25: unbooked
- 2022-04-09: total
- 2022-04-05: shattered, scattered
- 2022-03-29: to the woman
- 2022-03-23: compatibility
- 2022-03-20: spanning
- 2022-03-15: given
- 2022-03-14: minus twelve
- 2022-03-08: lessons
- 2022-02-24: shadowtrope
- 2022-02-19: open the blinds
- 2022-02-11: auctioned
- 2022-02-01: squeezing
- 2022-01-20: violet hour
- 2022-01-13: waning
- 2021-12-31: 21, done
- 2021-11-28: impersonation vacation
- 2021-11-13: breaking
- 2021-10-21: arriving after dark
- 2021-10-07: thank you
- 2021-10-04: duty
- 2021-10-04: vigil
- 2021-09-11: high
- 2021-09-06: remaining
- 2021-08-29: lone
- 2021-08-24: accounting
- 2021-08-24: vee eye eye eye
- 2021-08-22: all past
- 2021-08-18: protagonist
- 2021-08-16: dispossessing
- 2021-08-12: necropolitan
- 2021-08-08: unconcealment
- 2021-08-07: efflorescence
- 2021-08-06: i'll see you before I go
- 2021-08-01: knifed
- 2021-07-30: roadside carnage
- 2021-07-22: half-brogues
- 2021-07-21: dusted
- 2021-07-19: less mighty
- 2021-07-17: starting to finish
- 2021-07-16: to the winds
- 2021-07-12: how can you lie
- 2021-07-10: boarding
- 2021-07-07: funnels
- 2021-07-06: these dusks
- 2021-07-05: pyro
- 2021-07-04: never read the comments
- 2021-07-04: everybody knows
- 2021-06-30: transgression
- 2021-06-27: good conscience
- 2021-06-26: best efforts
- 2021-06-23: luminescent clockwork
- 2021-06-22: night, flight
- 2021-06-21: never not
- 2021-06-18: the skull beneath the skin
- 2021-06-15: completing
- 2021-06-10: keeping
- 2021-05-29: suddenness
- 2021-05-23: embracing
- 2021-05-17: hatching
- 2021-05-15: packing
- 2021-05-08: others' day
- 2021-04-22: always falling
- 2021-04-20: completion
- 2021-04-17: telling on yourself
- 2021-04-03: endings
- 2021-03-31: ravels
- 2021-03-23: encoding
- 2021-03-17: unboxing
- 2021-03-08: dictatorship of the night
- 2021-02-28: toxic waste
- 2021-02-26: a year, before
- 2021-02-25: unreal blue
- 2021-02-25: been there
- 2021-02-23: scouted
- 2021-02-22: reprise
- 2021-02-19: ghosted
- 2021-01-23: numbered
- 2021-01-14: last
- 2020-12-18: held
- 2020-09-20: fear
- 2020-09-11: h.b. m.g
- 2020-08-27: recurring
- 2020-08-21: wintering
- 2020-08-11: autodidactically
- 2020-08-10: indelible
- 2020-08-03: gifted, given
- 2020-07-24: inversion
- 2020-07-04: not homeless
- 2020-06-22: promises
- 2020-06-04: clouds change
- 2020-06-02: forgive me
- 2020-01-26: dietary advice
- 2019-11-24: time bends
- 2019-10-04: hush
- 2019-10-01: poussière de lune
- 2019-09-30: the reflex to unfeel what's real
- 2019-09-28: not falling
- 2019-09-28: ungummed
- 2019-09-27: headscapes
- 2019-09-25: tending
- 2019-09-24: half light, half darkness
- 2019-09-23: cx.
- 2019-09-17: this is no autumn
- 2019-09-14: terminus
- 2019-09-12: a featherless thing
- 2019-09-06: pellucid
- 2019-09-05: autumn's late
- 2019-09-02: marmot not found
- 2019-08-30: to awe
- 2019-08-28: saturday night killin’ songs
- 2019-08-20: absentminded
- 2019-08-15: lacking
- 2019-08-11: unsickness
- 2019-08-07: feelcrime nightmares
- 2019-08-06: palimpsest
- 2019-08-02: endurance
- 2019-07-30: one must imagine sisyphus happy
- 2019-07-28: realignment
- 2019-07-27: safety is complicated
- 2019-07-24: draft: east cliff
- 2019-07-23: lacunae and the memory of memory
- 2019-07-21: quartz
- 2019-07-19: constant unreader
- 2019-07-17: spotless
- 2019-07-16: there are only stories
- 2019-07-14: fragments, july
- 2011-10-21: mid to late
- 2010-10-21: prime
- 2009-10-21: and again.
- 2008-10-21: midway
- 2008-09-14: RIP, DFW
- 2008-07-29: LXXVI
- 2008-06-12: hush, now.
- 2008-05-14: long
- 2008-02-20: to the west
- 2008-01-06: beyond
- 2008-01-03: for 2008
- 2007-06-12: [Exit, Chase-d by a bear.]
- 2007-06-04: a momentary lapse into reason
- 2006-12-24: remembering leslie
- 2006-12-08: flooded
- 2006-10-10: following the band
- 2006-09-13: journalesque
- 2006-04-23: prog
- 2005-10-01: black, indeed
- 2005-10-01: [ ]
- 2005-09-26: if there is some mistake
- 2005-09-09: from nairobi to new orleans
- 2005-08-02: you can stop reading now
- 2005-08-01: and so to bed
- 2005-08-01: every changing shape
- 2005-07-02: unspeak, memory
- 2005-06-30: all that is old is new again
- 2005-06-28: dropping the baton
- 2005-06-07: holding pattern
- 2005-04-09: digital reliquaries
- 2005-03-29: of links and non-links
- 2005-03-26: another grave-spinning moment for bill
- 2005-02-26: gone but not forgotten
- 2005-02-21: RIP, HST
- 2004-11-29: ghosts
- 2004-11-03: four more wars
- 2004-09-08: dry
- 2004-09-03: …
- 2004-07-23: fullstop
- 2004-07-11: ineluctable summer
- 2004-07-04: without
- 2004-06-01: bankrupt
- 2004-05-21: burning
- 2004-04-26: feeling instead of being
- 2004-04-26: there’s no easy answer,
- 2004-03-02: is falling down
- 2004-02-26: just a ride
- 2004-01-07: last words (ii)
- 2003-12-06: last words
- 2003-12-05: hiroshima soul
- 2003-12-03: bearing off, baring the soul
- 2003-11-30: disconnecting
- 2003-11-28: hugh kenner, r.i.p.
- 2003-11-17: s.j. and the blue pencil
- 2003-11-12: parasomething
- 2003-11-11: let arms rest
- 2003-11-05: land of the freeloaders
- 2003-11-02: paging don rumsfeld
- 2003-10-30: sick, still docked
- 2003-10-28: at 27,000ft
- 2003-10-21: t=0
- 2003-10-14: unreal
- 2003-10-10: ess you vee
- 2003-10-08: sweeney antagonistes (ii)
- 2003-10-02: of falling
- 2003-09-25: words
- 2003-09-24: vacate
- 2003-09-24: missing thunder, missing rain
- 2003-09-19: johnny cash, r.i.p.
- 2003-09-18: like tears
- 2003-09-11: amletico
- 2003-09-08: before the world was unmade
- 2003-09-03: nick writes
- 2003-09-02: does the body rule the mind, or does the mind rule the body?
- 2003-08-28: caught by colour
- 2003-08-27: enough,
- 2003-08-15: write, she said
- 2003-08-15: because. just because.
- 2003-08-13: seconds out
- 2003-08-11: if we wanted to be
- 2003-08-09: do butterflies have caterpiller dreams?
- 2003-08-03: 26
- 2003-07-28: 1944 + 59
- 2003-07-25: exposition:
- 2003-07-18: Tereu
- 2003-07-18: precursors
- 2003-07-09: dawn tracings
- 2003-07-08: domain field
- 2003-07-06: lucifer’s shadow
- 2003-07-04: modern psychiatry
- 2003-07-03: kit smart
- 2003-07-02: via louis wolpert
- 2003-07-02: finally
- 2003-06-30: artist on artist
- 2003-06-30: last day of june
- 2003-06-28: c’est moi dans la poubelle
- 2003-06-23: la vie en l’infer
- 2003-06-23: only skunks, that search
- 2003-06-22: in for a pen, in for a pound
- 2003-06-20: sweeney antagonistes
- 2003-06-20: remembering david hume
- 2003-06-19: balance, and the loss of
- 2003-05-27: ‘there is no nick’
- 2003-05-26: the fire that refines
- 2003-05-23: finding direction
- 2003-05-21: cinderella rockefella
- 2003-05-12: plus also
- 2003-05-01: self-consuming artifacts
- 2003-04-18: welcome to the global pillage
- 2003-04-15: word of the month
- 2003-04-11: big x
- 2003-04-10: withdrawal symptoms
- 2003-04-09: saudade
- 2003-04-07: travel
- 2003-04-04: transmigration
- 2003-04-01: inmotion
- 2003-03-20: cant(er)ing into war
- 2003-03-17: an inversion
- 2003-03-14: convocate or convoke?
- 2003-02-26: adieu, maurice
- 2003-02-24: paging empedocles
- 2003-02-19: speak, memory
- 2003-01-31: c-41
- 2003-01-27: morning arbutus
- 2002-12-22: the thought of islands
- 2002-12-11: interfaciality
- 2002-11-27: many little vexations
- 2002-11-12: ‘When sick of Muse…’
- 2002-11-11: in memoriam, w. o.
- 2002-11-07: winona, how could you?
- 2002-11-01: epilogue to satire
- 2002-10-21: xxix
- 2002-10-17: futures
- 2002-10-05: swiftly does it
- 2002-10-03: it’s time for bravery
- 2002-09-28: in lieu of thinking
- 2002-09-22: channelling gibbon
- 2002-09-21: vespers for jupiter
- 2002-09-20: a sort of protest
- 2002-09-11: ‘not radical, but palliative’
- 2002-09-09: mississippi or busted
- 2002-09-08: hearing poems work
- 2002-08-30: the watchful angel
- 2002-07-26: draft: [ hold thy peace ]
- 2002-07-16: draft: [ thanks, miguel ]
- 2002-07-14: draft / summer 2002
- 2002-06-30: draft / hush
- 2002-06-17: e1 6ly
- 2002-06-07: [ ]
- 2002-05-28: of craft
- 2002-05-22: hypomnenata
- 2002-05-18: un seul ou plusieurs loups
- 2002-05-04: ‘circumspice’
- 2002-05-03: playing meme-tag
- 2002-04-18: s.j. in perpetuo
- 2002-04-15: oh, pining
- 2002-04-09: [ ahem ]
- 2002-04-01: [ moo ]
- 2002-03-24: In praise of creative maladjustment
- 2002-03-22: with apologies to mr. pope
- 2002-03-18: distinctions
- 2002-03-14: [ playing tag ]
- 2002-03-09: [ 4 a.m. ]
- 2002-02-27: spike, r.i.p.
- 2002-02-21: thank you, mr. ford
- 2002-02-18: because vermin don’t get vermouth
- 2002-02-12: £
- 2002-02-07: half-time half-bakery
- 2002-01-28: p.b., r.i.p.
- 2002-01-24: mettez votre guerre
- 2002-01-22: mlk
- 2002-01-12: [ pisan cantos ]
- 2002-01-11: down from the muses, up from the streets
- 2002-01-09: as zimmerman put it
- 2002-01-07: the limits of reason
- 2002-01-04: mobilisation
- 2002-01-01: [lights, camera]
- 2001-12-29: [ excuse his hell, and my paradiso ]
- 2001-12-22: the making of it
- 2001-12-18: [ ‘I have many ideas for poems, Mallarmé’ ]
- 2001-12-12: fluxion
- 2001-12-04: [ it’s a joke. laugh. ]
- 2001-12-02: [ marvellous ]
- 2001-11-29: it’s full of stars!
- 2001-11-18: hiatus
- 2001-11-07: “faciality”
- 2001-11-05: « Viendo que Jil, hizo raya »
- 2001-10-20: s.j.
- 2001-10-15: readerless
- 2001-10-03: directions
- 2001-10-01: newyear
- 2001-09-24: fire on the hemisphere below
- 2001-09-11: [ ]
- 2001-08-29: deliverance
- 2001-08-27: never-reaching
- 2001-08-16: lines of force
- 2001-08-14: Hypocrite Auteur
- 2001-08-14: flow
- 2001-08-13: embers
- 2001-08-08: writeout
- 2001-08-07: drenching
- 2001-08-01: you had to be good
- 2001-07-30: Für Alina
- 2001-07-24: as good as me
- 2001-07-23: between continents
- 2001-07-15: Swithin
- 2001-07-06: eagle's gift
- 2001-07-05: lyeth between
- 2001-06-24: making elsewheres
- 2001-06-23: caw, caw
- 2001-06-18: not my vocation
- 2001-06-10: off my case
- 2001-05-06: Blessed Anthony Middleton
- 2001-04-25: Mark
- 2001-04-12: Martin I
- 2001-04-07: Julie Billiart
- 2001-04-07: Herman Joseph
- 2001-04-02: Charles le Bel
- 2001-03-31: All Fools’ Day
- 2001-03-25: Margaret Clitheroe
- 2001-03-17: after Patrick
- 2001-02-21: Peter Damian
- 2001-02-15: St. Claude de la Colombiere
- 2001-02-04: appealing to the censer
- 2001-02-03: changed by the nuns
- 2001-02-02: breakage
- 2001-01-24: Burns Night
- 2001-01-17: Leobard the Recluse
- 2001-01-13: birdsong
- 2001-01-11: the martyrology
- 2001-01-10: William of Bourges
- 2000-12-31: last of 2000
- 2000-12-23: mythical childhoods
- 2000-12-16: free to a good home
- 2000-12-04: John Damascene
- 2000-12-01: interlude
- 2000-11-25: Pope Linus
- 2000-11-20: Edmund, King and Martyr
- 2000-11-16: Margaret of Scotland
- 2000-11-14: Lorcan O’Toole
- 2000-11-11: intermission: of all saints, and none
- 2000-11-02: All Souls
- 2000-10-31: Quintinus
- 2000-10-24: Anthony Mary Claret
- 2000-10-23: John of Capistrano
- 2000-10-21: Ursula and her Companions
- 2000-10-18: Luke
- 2000-10-17: Margaret Mary Alacoque
- 2000-10-16: Gerard Majella
- 2000-10-15: Theresa of Avila
- 2000-10-14: Callistus I
- 2000-10-12: Wilfrid of York
- 2000-10-11: Ethelburge of Barking
- 2000-10-09: Paulinus of York
- 2000-10-08: Denis
- 2000-10-08: Pelagia
- 2000-10-07: Our Lady of the Rosary
- 2000-10-06: Faith
- 2000-10-04: Francis of Assisi
- 2000-10-03: Ewald and Ewald
- 2000-10-02: the guardian angels
- 2000-10-01: volvo sunday
- 2000-09-28: E.I.I.R.P.
- 2000-09-19: writing-out
- 2000-09-18: never-ending
- 2000-08-30: outside the rainforest cafe
- 2000-08-18: distance no object.
- 2000-08-10: monochromed
- 2000-08-08: too many miles
- 2000-07-30: when you speak
- 2000-07-28: his wonders to perform.
- 2000-07-21: that radio 3 pays not
- 2000-07-18: musical calculus
- 2000-07-15: four years since that unforgettable
- 2000-07-14: incandescence.
- 2000-07-11: of john coltrane’s solo
- 2000-07-06: Of all the authors
- 2000-07-03: trazodone gold-plates my dreams
- 2000-06-30: as I see the tailcoats
- 2000-06-25: there’s nothing like displacement
- 2000-06-24: sometimes, life can be like
- 2000-06-21: wordless days
- 2000-06-19: returning the call
- 2000-06-14: to make the experiment by writing
- 2000-06-09: The Idea of North
- 2000-06-03: 23
- 2000-05-30: many happy returns.
- 2000-05-29: three-year breaths
- 2000-05-24: were it not for her